Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I Am Not The Same

Well I haven't written a blog in such a long time but I do think its time to tell everyone of what God has done in our lives the last year.

It started last year at youth camp God was just working in our hearts about things in our(James and me) life. Then we come back from camp and the prophetic conference starts the first nite James and I got a word. One thing James asked God was he wanted something specific and God gave him a specific time. Things were still being broken off us even 8 years later. We took it to heart and started praying it in. We asked God so many questions the next six months. As those six months went by God did something in us and we began to change and brake off of us. We had still dealt with shame and doubting ourselves. It was a good six months, things even changed in the way we saw God and his goodness. Around christmas things changed even more for us. We had to trust God even more for his provision and he did provide. Then God put certain people in our lives and that helped us even more with what we were going through. I began to evaluate myself and see who I was in God. As I did this for Dec, Jan and Feb I began to realize I can still achieve the desires of my heart. So I started to paint again I hadn't really done it since I was a kid but I was determined to set time a side for it. Well as I have searched to see who I am in him I have begun to have a confidence thru him too. But there were still things I needed to deal with.

So then March 23rd we were candidates in the Prophectic Conference. We were so excited! I didn't know what to expect but I wasn't nervous either. Let me tell you it was so amazing. We got some pretty amazing words then to top it off our church had an offering for us. In that moment I was so blown away by the Love from Shady Grove Church. I didn't know how to receive that. You see nothing against my parents but we were not a lovely dovey family we knew we loved each other but didn't show it too often. So God has dealt with me these last 8 1/2 with such a loving Husband and children. So there were so many words I cant even remember right now but it was the fuel we needed to continue to endure the race and to know if we had made the right decisions in out lives. One thing they said was that I absolutely loved was that I was meant to be with James. I will say that made me even more happy not that I have ever thought that we don't belong together but I know people have said that we weren't meant to be and that we just got married because of Gabriel. So when they spoke that we were meant be to together over us I know it broke off those lies from the enemy. They also spoke about my dreams that God was going to speak even more clearly through them. They also said that my tears would be healing tears for the girls that need the same healing. They said that James would raise up an army of young men. One thing I loved hearing was not to transition to another ministry but to stay with the one we are in. I love pouring into youth and young adults. So we left that day so full of encouragement and fuel to continue on with the race.

It doesn't stop there then we were blessed with tickets to go to Cyprus. I have been praying for God to make a way for us to go for about 2yrs now and here we were about to finally go. This was also our first trip overseas together. We were so excited! Our trip to Cyprus was life changing. That community is just so amazing. The school just blew me away. To see these young adults worshipping God and serving each other was just so wonderful to see. They are definitely doing something life changing at Gateways Beyond. They had worship from 8 to 1030 then teachings to 1030 to 1230. then there was lunch and back to teachings from 2 to 4 pm. Peter Prothero the speaker that week and we were told he was an amazing teacher. So we sat in all the teachings while he was there. All I can say is his teachings were so rich with the knowledge of God and his word. Well when we weren't in the teaching we got to hang out with the students and the our friends from texas. Everyone just impacted my life in some kind of way. Whether it was something I saw them do or heard them say. The people at that school were so serving, so loving and so encouraging. I will never be the same because of them. They prophsesied over us before we left and it was just so shocking to me. During that week we were there I had alot of conversations with God about concerns, questions and people I was worried about. God spoke to them and just reasurred me of things and encouraged me about EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING I had talked to him about that week. Even now as I write this I am so overwelemed by his love and goodness. Well the secenry was breathe taking we got to drive around a little and see some villages. I have never been to a place where it hurt to leave. I know I will be back someday!

Well the last tihing I want to say today was as these days go on I see how God has changed me so much. I just feel this constant Joy of the Lord. Just when I thought he was done with me last night happens. We had a special speaker from Ethiopia named Mezmur Zemicheal. Listening to him preach was just eye opening then he gave an altar call if you had bondage in your life that was holdin you back to come up and recieve the fire. The Holy Spirit reveled something in my life that was hindering me so I went up. I am being very very vunerble when i say this out loud to you but I had a serious fear of man. More in the area of getting up in front of people and teaching, preaching or even giving a word. I have always known about this fear but for some odd reason would never get rid of it. I guess in so many ways I was also afraid to tell others about it because then I knew people would challenge me to do those things I was afraid to do. So I cried out to him and asked him to remove that bondage so that I may be used by him. WOW when Mezmur prayed over me the first time he continue to shout over me " You will NEVER be the same!" When he said that I just began to baul my eyes out. That was God promise to me and I just began to weep more. Once again I thought God was done with me and then Mezmur prayed over me again. God BLASTED me again! He said some other stuff but cant remember them right now. All I can say is God knows what his people need and if we are willing to be free from the junk in our lives he will FREE us from it! I woke up this morning and I knew I needed to profess what God has done in my life this past year. I am so excited to see what God has for us these next coming years. Thank you for reading this and I pray God Blesses you. I also pray that God will pour into you and that you will be ruined by God like I have been.

Love ya and God Bless!!!

1 comment:

Des said...

Wow Suzanna!! That is awesome! I am so excited for you and what the Lord has in store for you and your family!